photo by rob prideaux, 2011.

check out this shot by rob prideaux. we’ve got a great photo project in the works.  stay tuned…

it was great having the opportunity to do consecutive shows; i kept joking that it was like being a member of the cast of cats, or something, seeing everyone doing the same pre-show prep each night.  my personal performance improved as my nerves relaxed a bit as both the venue and the timing of the show became more familiar.

as i’ve mentioned before, this new firish piece is a bit different from the last piece.  this is much lighter, more playful.  we were going for a dream fire fairie ethic.  the piece is not technically challenging for me as a hooper; the challenge comes from the simultaneous dancing and from the fanwork i decided to take on.  we subsequently adapted it for fire, but at the time we agreed to just focus on the flow firish-style (increasing our dancing skill and tool manipulation within the piece).  as to the elf speed reference in the title, we call a section of our piece where we dance in a circle ‘elf speed’.  it just kind of developed, like all great section-naming does.

in the last section of the routine, krista and i drop our respective tools (double staves and hoop, respectively) and pick up a pair of fans.  we then dance in complementary unison as part of the tableau of movement that completes the piece.  i’m a total novice with fans.  my abilities are at the complete nadir of my abilities with the hoop.  this was my first performance with them.  one surprising obstacle during all of the performances was that my hands kept getting super dry; i kept floundering my vertical spins because the fans kept sticking to my hands.  nevertheless, my big victory was managing to smile for most of my performances, which is something i’m trying to work on.

photo by devon athey, 2011.

several hours before the final performance on sunday evening, i threw caution to the wind and joined my crazy peeps in spinning at the how weird street faire.  if you are not familiar with it, how weird is an outdoor festival in the south of market (soma) area of san francisco.  huge streets are closed off: thousands of people mingle and dance their way around multiple stages and vendors.  the crowd is prone to dress with some level of outrageousness, hence the name.

i dressed the part in my silver ilaniowear pants- by far the most rockstar pants i own.   as you can see in the link, the crotch of these pants is fronted with black lacing.  after absolutely kicking ass on hoop for several hours in the bright sunshine, admittedly a bit woozy from dehydration, i found myself having to keep pulling up my pants.  they often require some level of readjustment- i’ve worn out the inherent stretch in the waist from years of dancing in them.   so, thinking they were just slipping a bit, i adjusted them quickly without looking and kept moving.  i ignored it until it became incessant.  i finally broke from my hoop reverie to see that the lacing had finally snapped, leaving me with a kind of gaping underwear crotch show with which i’d been semi-flashing the audience for awhile.  granted that’s super-mild for the how weird crowd, but i suddenly felt a bit shy, made some quick adjustments, and left for the gig.

anyway, i’m happy with the way the performances went.  we had some errors, but i think the performances were good.  we got a lot of positive feedback and, as always, seemed to offer something different from what other spinners were doing.  it is really fun to work with a group of this size and specialization.  a couple of years later and i’m happy that firish is still working its magic.  when pixie and i started the thing we had no idea where it would go.  now, it’s a separate but complimentary performing troupe to solar flare.

in the next installment, i’ll talk about solar flare’s quest for conclave…

photo by claire mulkey, 2011.

in an earlier post, i was stressing about the string of big performances on the immediate horizon, venting my mounting, inner freak-out, as it were.  a few months later and those shows are a distant, happy memory, as are several others.  instead of assaulting you with an overlong post trying to cram all of my activities in, i’ve decided to break it up into bite-size pieces.  this is the first one.  open wide…

the temple of poi fire dancing expo at the end of april was awesome.  there were lots of great performances by talented peeps.  the space is great: a big open-air concrete stage at union square, surrounded by large buildings and the buzz of the city.  it was a little on the cold side, but fortunately the rain stopped early enough in the day to make the show possible.  this was my second year performing as part of the event.  once again i felt honored to be there.

one super-cool experience prior to the performance was getting my arms and shoulders airbrushed.  an artist friend of bene’s spent a nice chunk of time giving us each complimentary layers and textures.  the results were cyberpunk cool.  unfortunately, a good portion of it rubbed off onto the inside of the jacket i had to wear to keep warm while awaiting my performance time.  regardless, i definitely am going to invest in airbrush work again.  it was a fun process, looked amazing, and helped me get into character on some level.  the icing on the cake was my friend sarah giving me some facepaint just before we went on.  i usually avoid having any makeup on my face. i sweat like a pig and it invariably gets smeared.  but, she did a great job of adding a bit of unobtrusive artistry to my face and it lasted without any problems.

the focus of the night for me, of course, was my duet with bene.  after several months of prep, i feel pretty good about the debut performance.  the energy was high, the crowd was with us, and we were pretty on (though a little nervous at the beginning).  given all the work that went into the piece, it’s not surprising that i’ve put the first video through the super-harsh critique sieve.  but, even with that battering, i feel happy with the performance and am really proud of our effort.

i’ve enjoyed the process of creating the piece with bene.  she is willing to work hard, brings an insightful, creative mind to the choreography, and has a great sense of humor.  over the last few years, i’ve been very fortunate to work with a number of really talented people.  what i have learned from them is immeasurable.  the more i co-create duets, the more i recognize that the most important decision is who you work with.

photo by fototaker tony, 2011.

reviewing the video, i think we had some great sequences, with some tight timing.  i like the complexity and pacing of the piece a lot.  there’s definitely stuff to work on, but that’s always the case.  as i’ve mentioned before, i add new tricks into routines so i can learn them.  as such, still working on some skill development and fine tuning.

there is a part of the routine where we do synchronized, horizontal, wrist spins.  it’s a cool trick, but i’m definitely still working on executing it consistently.   it’s one of my drop-risk moves.  the truth is i wasn’t confident going into the performance that i could pull off the move without a drop, having dropped it a number of times in practice.  in the move, while holding the hoop with my outstretched hand, i sweep my right arm clockwise on the vertical plane, opening my hand at the top (12 o’clock) to spin the hoop on my upright palm like a top, as both descend in an outward, clockwise arc.  it will be super cool when i can get it solid.

unfortunately, my wrist was pretty sore that night due to all of the fan practice i’d been doing for the separate firish piece i’ll talk about later.  i ended up having to adjust the move to protect my wrist and prevent the drop.  i basically did a cheat of the move, faking the spin of the hoop by twisting my wrist instead.  i’m glad it doesn’t look too bad in the video, but it’s on the top of my list of bits to work on.

photo by fototaker tony, 2011.

in other near tragedies, my hoop went out before the end of my routine, as feared.  fortunately it was at the tail end.  it’s almost a good thing it went out when it did, since i ended up doing a freak-ninja-bungle-of-a-move; a new move i had solid in practice but floundered at the crucial moment, for no known reason.  but, whatever.  it’s cool that a wick relit at the very end.

i’m still trying to find a firehoop that meets all of my requirements: light enough that it doesn’t kill me, strong enough that it can repeatedly take the torque i put on it, and wick’d-enough that it can last a good 4-minute set.  if i can’t find that hoop, i’m starting to realize that I may have to make that hoop.

anyway, the last thing i see watching the video is that i definitely need to ramp up my energy level to match bene’s glowing presence.  she owns it from the outset- i need to be there, too.   a friend once told me that as soon i realized and owned how awesome i was, my performances would be unbelievable.  or something to that effect.  it is something i struggle with.  i have this inward battle against arrogance that is sometimes at odds with projecting confidence in my performances.  it’s when i see examples of great showmanship that i’m inspired to try anew to let the full kahuna out.

regardless of improvements to be done to the routine and our delivery, i’m grateful that it went well and for the top-notch performance opportunity.  i look forward to continuing to refine and polish the duet.  after several intervening performances, i’m already feeling much more relaxed with it.  i feel like i’m starting to open up with it, if that makes any sense.  i look forward to bene and i both consistently finding that balance between being at ease in the familiarity of the fluid motion of the routine and executing each sequence with powerful intention, taking it from a primarily technical performance to an artistic performance of nuance, emotion, and polished skill.  i’m excited to see what it becomes.  glad the debut was a hit.  it was a nice way to start off.

in the next installment, i’ll talk about elf speed and the unexpected junk show.  stay tuned…

this happens to me a lot at public events.  it’s funny because i doubt jugglers have tons of peeps come up to borrow their balls.  (i know, just let it go)  there definitely is something super-accessible about hooping; i usually consider this a good thing.  at the same time, have you noticed that adults aren’t always respectful when it comes to things that are seemingly accessible?  maybe it’s because the hoop is associated in most people’s minds with a child’s toy, which must mean that they get to play with it.  whatever the reason, the m.o. is usually some early 20-something woman who is slightly to not-so-slightly intoxicated interrupting me to ask to borrow my hoop.

there are times when i’m totally open to sharing.  actually, i’d say that’s my default.  i must have lent my hoop out literally hundreds of times.  but when the request came on this particular day, i was just starting to relax in the way that only hooping facilitates.  so, no, i didn’t really want to share at that moment.  in the past i’ve often just acquiesced to an inopportune request.  but this time i checked in with myself and said to the woman with honesty, “sure, you can hoop in a bit.”  did i get a thank you?  nope.  her response as she walked away was a snarky, “oh, because you’re doing your thing?”

not five minutes later, while still a bit miffed at the comment, someone else came up and asked the same thing.  i replied again, that yes, once i’m done you are welcome to hoop.  this person did actually take me on my word, returning about fifteen minutes later.  and, yes, having enjoyed doing my thing for a spell, i shared as promised.

there is usually a whole different level of reticence when you’re spinning a pricey hoop, like an led, and get the request.  generally willing to share hoops?  sure. willing to hand a space cadet i don’t know my $300 led?  not so much.

anyway, later in the day my peeps gathered by live music elsewhere in the park.  the spot was near one of our apartments, which meant access to the inevitable gaggle of hoops.  a quick foray and we were stocked.  this time, when peeps asked to play, it was easy to direct them to the extras.  that was a great solution.  everybody happy.

but, obviously, there are times when there just aren’t extra hoops available.  most of the time, i don’t carry extras.  it’s hard enough lugging one hoop on public transpo as is, let alone all the accoutrements. (yes, there are accoutrements.)

i know i’m not the only hooper who has gotten irritated at being asked repeatedly to lend out their hoop.  in fact, i know several hoopers who flat out refuse any request at any time.  that seems a little extreme to me, but i do understand.  looking back at how things played out at bay to breakers, i’m happy with the way i handled the initial requests.  i think it is my new default: i will simply take a moment to check in with myself when asked.  if i feel like sharing, i’ll gladly share.  but if i really just want to sink into my flow, then i’ll validate my own needs by saying they can use it later or not at all.  i suppose i could come up with some clever comeback like, yes you can borrow my hoop if i can borrow your pants, but bottom line, it is my hoop.  if the person requesting is upset at having to wait or getting a flat out denial, that really is their problem.  my hoop is not a frisbee left on the playground.  it is my dance partner in a very real sense, even if no one else understands that.

i suppose i could just encourage the next person to bring their own hoop next time.  undoubtedly, they’ll get asked to share, too.  maybe then, they will understand.

bene aria and kahunahula, hoop duet, fire dancing expo, 2011.

a big thanks to kenrom for the vid!

i’ve been thinking about my nerves as i do the final preparations for the first big fire show of the season.  you’d think this would all be blase after so much experience, but that certainly is not the case.  i’ve found that actively working on the things that concern me makes a big difference in my stress level.  i have a working list of to-do’s in my head- everything from dyeing my hat deep black again, to practicing the sticky parts of our routine, to making sure i eat a decent-sized meal before call time.  inevitably, this list will morph as showtime gets closer.  there is much in simply being as prepared as you can be.

but, even with the mental lists in play, there are the moments when i simply do a little freak out inside.  as the event gets closer, i’ve noticed more of these.  my lady has learned to just leave me alone on the day of a big performance because i can be such a stress-monkey.  the crowd last year at the fire dancing expo was about 3,000, including a huge phalanx of photographers, talented peers in the spinning world, and close friends.  that’s a lot of peeps focusing on me and my partner.  i can feel a surge of adrenaline just thinking about it.  whew.

the things that continue to worry me are fairly straightforward.  other than the basic concern for everyone’s safety and success, i’m worried that 1) i will drop the hoop in one of the three particularly challenging sequences that i’ve challenged myself to do, and/or 2) my hoop will go out before the routine is done.   with the first one, what can i say, i’ve definitely dropped my hoop in front of an audience before.  lots of times, in fact.  it’s one thing to do a drop in a solo, where a good recovery can make it look like you almost intended the drop, but with a tightly choreographed duet there is not that same room for error.

as to my hoop going out, this problem has plagued me for years.  for many shows i’m forbidden by the permit to use my usual fuel mixture of white gas and lamp oil.  the lamp oil makes a huge difference when it comes to burn longevity.  tomorrow i’m facing a complicated routine with white gas only.   i’ve tried using the biggest wicks i can, but the connectors invariably fail with regular use and i have to deal with the downsides of super-bouncy wicks.  (i swear i should be a test hooper for firehoops) anyway, with only white gas to work with there is a likelihood that most (hopefully, not all) of my wicks will be out by the end of the 3 minute piece.

in addition to these concerns, at a macro level i simply want to nail every trick with precision, intention, power, and calm.  i want to ‘bring it’ wholeheartedly to the show, tapping into my flow and alter ego from the moment we walk on stage.  i want to groove through the routine and, ultimately, have a great time doing so.  i’d like to encourage, dazzle and inspire those watching.  and, i’d like my dance partner to have the same great experience.

ultimately, the performance will be exactly what it is.  someone once told me that your performance will only be as good as your best practice.  i think that is mostly true, though the energy of the crowd can make a huge difference.  that’s part of the magic of live performance.

regardless of what goes right or wrong, i feel very fortunate to have this opportunity and the other performance opportunities that are following in succession.  it’s a wonderful thing to be able to share my art with the world, even if i do so with a swarm of butterflies in my stomach.

my hands and shoulders are sore.  both of my knees are slightly abraded from rubbing against the back of my knee pads.  an ankle and a knee are tender in spots.  my goatee and eyelashes are singed in several places.  my back is tight.  i really need a long massage.

anticipating the endurance test of prepping for these shows, i’ve been diligent when it comes to drinking lots of water, drinking electrolytes (i like nuun), eating more protein for recovery, and resting when i need to.  these choices have certainly helped mitigate things.  but i could use a lot more sleep and need to really increase my stretching/yoga.  i’ve had to start taping up my fingers again with medical tape- parts of my fingers, both outside and inside the glove, are sore with a few minor burns.

with two weeks to go before the fire expo, and the flow show the week after that, and the whole earth festival the week after that, i’m going to need to basically suck it up and just try to take better care of my body while i blaze through these crucial weeks.  i’ve heard tea is good for your hands.  need to get more arnica.

gifted massages welcome;-)

this comment still bothers me.  i’m sure on some level i was initially irked because i was part of the show- i wasn’t too keen on the idea of whispered comparisons, particularly in a non-competitive event- but mostly it made me mad that this incredibly talented person was suffering in part because she felt that others were evaluating her performance negatively.  that perception was obviously hurting someone who didn’t need any more criticism than her own.  maybe i misunderstood what she meant or maybe she was just having a bad day.  but it illustrates one of the downsides of being immersed in competition with others.  with the growing emphasis on competitive events in the hooping world, i’m concerned that there is the potential to undermine what i consider to be the best aspects of the spinning arts.

i guess it’s not that surprising that hooping is moving in this direction.  from a young age we are taught that there is this inherent disparity between the best and the rest, that the awards and the money and the fame only belong to those at the top of the heap.  we are saturated with images and stories extolling the virtues of competition.  how many movies, tv shows, or books can you think of where the hero or heroine initially flounders in a competition, then works hard through some kind of self-awakening to ultimately win?  i bet you can think of at least thirty without even trying.  invariably the end result of this epic struggle is our hero or heroine bathing in the accolades in the final tearful moments, while the competitor, who often seems to be evil for some reason, dies or is humiliated or, in the rare form, learns a life lesson.  yes, this does happen in real life, but for the most part, these stories are just made up.

while i appreciate that competition can be a catalyst for creativity or improvement, one of the things i really liked about hooping from the get go was that it didn’t feel competitive.  my first real in-person exposure to the greater hooping community was through bay area hoopers.  it was a haven of sorts, a place where i could learn, meet like-minded peeps, and practice free from judgment.  similarly, when i co-founded HooppaiN we emphasized that it had nothing to do with competition.  mutual inspiration?  yes!  but we weren’t caught up with who was better than whom.  instead, we all genuinely celebrated when anyone did something cool or innovative, enjoying each other’s company and shared love of spinning.  i personally benefited enormously from participating in both of these groups.  i know that similar groups now exist all around the world.

with the wave of hoop popularity continuing to grow, i’m sure we will see yesterday’s hoopies, and today’s hooping idol, morph into tomorrow’s international hooping competitions.  while i think the spirit behind the current competitions is to inspire and share, i would argue that there are better ways of doing it.  the reality is that anytime you hold a competition there is the risk of someone getting hurt or discouraged.  while one could argue that in entering a competition you open yourself up to that kind criticism, i don’t think that it makes the methodology any better.

the first problem i see is that any competition is going to have to reconcile some set of arbitrary criteria against the growing breadth of hooping: these days you’ve got single hoopers and double hoopers, those who emphasize the dance element and those who emphasize the technical element, off-the-body specialists and on-body rockers, those with a dance background and those without, etc.  that’s quite a range of skill, expression, and style.

i also think it is important to recognize that any particular performance may not be a good representation of a spinner’s skill set or flow.  even consistently amazing performers know that you have both good and bad spins. sometimes you are completely on: the magic is there, you are in that rarefied state of flow, participating in an amazing dialogue with the crowd in which even your errors can come across as great.  at other times, despite all of the preparation and intention, you can just be off: you get lost in your routine, or your costume malfunctions, or the wrong music gets cued up, or your hoop feels like it has gained ten pounds, or your body starts to channel a spastic monkey.  sometimes you just spin out of control.  that’s just the nature of the beast.

next you have the meta-factors.  when we are talking about people judging people, we have to at least acknowledge that popularity and personal attractiveness may play a role, even if that’s not anyone’s intention.  also, if the competition is based on a video submission, won’t the better quality videos inevitably get higher points?

i’m sure you see where i am going with this.  how can anybody fairly judge an expanding artform?  it’s all well and good to say that “everyone is a winner” who participates, but inevitably someone is not going to feel like a winner when they don’t make the cut.  granted, i’m emphasizing the doom and gloom, but the potential for hurt feelings and misunderstandings is real.

it takes a lot to share your art and soul with others.  there is an emotional risk to it, a vulnerability.  i think that vulnerability is a big part of what we connect with as an audience.  i’m worried about exposing that vulnerability to harm.  it seems out of synch with the universal hooping spirit, that graciousness within us that applauds without negative judgment a delighted newbie just jamming at the waist.  i think intermediate and seasoned hoopers need that graciousness, too.

as such, i would rather see the emphasis in the hooping world go to valuing the range of expression that we, as a community, can create.  i love spinning precisely because ten spinners can do the exact same set of moves and look different, because each person is inherently different and valuable because of that difference.  yes, we are all unique and special snowflakes!

i will never be any of the other amazing hoopers that grace our community.  that’s a good thing.  i’d rather be the best, most kickass kahunahula that i can be, bringing the core of my experience, spirit and passion to each of my spins the way only i can challenge myself to do.  granted i sound like an after-school special, but in my mind the real competition is with myself, not with anyone else.  am i getting past my own fears and tapping directly into my flow?  did i turn that drop into a great recovery?  more importantly, am i touching the hearts of those watching me instead of just being lost in my own hoopsterbation?  (you can quote me)  if i am winning over my own limitations, then, yes, i am winning.

you know what else?  with this kind of focus on enabling and challenging the creative self, it’s easy to really value what others bring to the table.  that may be obvious, but i think it is worth expressing.  another person’s success is not threatening to yours because there is no competition between the two of you; you can both win in your own personal events.  my perception is that the vast majority of hoopers connect inherently with this idea.

granted, there will undoubtedly always be people who get lost in judging others, but as a special community of artists i think we can embrace and encourage a different model.  hooping is not a job interview, beauty pageant, or any of the other situations in life where only one person can be the best.  before we get too lost in these things, i say we should steer away from the hierarchical constructs that pit hooper against hooper.  isn’t it truer to our nature to share things in a way that emulates the circular shape of the hoop?  with this sense of equanimity, let’s agree to protect one other from feeling like the performance we just did is being criticized behind our back.  we can foster mutual inspiration and creativity instead, building showcases instead of competitions.  there definitely can be value in a large forum for the sharing of high levels of skill and innovation.  it just doesn’t need to be about singling out one or two people.  there is enough room for every hooper to be treasured and honored for what they bring to our art and our community.

still looking for a better alternative, but thought i’d share the news.