it was great having the opportunity to do consecutive shows; i kept joking that it was like being a member of the cast of cats, or something, seeing everyone doing the same pre-show prep each night.  my personal performance improved as my nerves relaxed a bit as both the venue and the timing of the show became more familiar.

as i’ve mentioned before, this new firish piece is a bit different from the last piece.  this is much lighter, more playful.  we were going for a dream fire fairie ethic.  the piece is not technically challenging for me as a hooper; the challenge comes from the simultaneous dancing and from the fanwork i decided to take on.  we subsequently adapted it for fire, but at the time we agreed to just focus on the flow firish-style (increasing our dancing skill and tool manipulation within the piece).  as to the elf speed reference in the title, we call a section of our piece where we dance in a circle ‘elf speed’.  it just kind of developed, like all great section-naming does.

in the last section of the routine, krista and i drop our respective tools (double staves and hoop, respectively) and pick up a pair of fans.  we then dance in complementary unison as part of the tableau of movement that completes the piece.  i’m a total novice with fans.  my abilities are at the complete nadir of my abilities with the hoop.  this was my first performance with them.  one surprising obstacle during all of the performances was that my hands kept getting super dry; i kept floundering my vertical spins because the fans kept sticking to my hands.  nevertheless, my big victory was managing to smile for most of my performances, which is something i’m trying to work on.

photo by devon athey, 2011.

several hours before the final performance on sunday evening, i threw caution to the wind and joined my crazy peeps in spinning at the how weird street faire.  if you are not familiar with it, how weird is an outdoor festival in the south of market (soma) area of san francisco.  huge streets are closed off: thousands of people mingle and dance their way around multiple stages and vendors.  the crowd is prone to dress with some level of outrageousness, hence the name.

i dressed the part in my silver ilaniowear pants- by far the most rockstar pants i own.   as you can see in the link, the crotch of these pants is fronted with black lacing.  after absolutely kicking ass on hoop for several hours in the bright sunshine, admittedly a bit woozy from dehydration, i found myself having to keep pulling up my pants.  they often require some level of readjustment- i’ve worn out the inherent stretch in the waist from years of dancing in them.   so, thinking they were just slipping a bit, i adjusted them quickly without looking and kept moving.  i ignored it until it became incessant.  i finally broke from my hoop reverie to see that the lacing had finally snapped, leaving me with a kind of gaping underwear crotch show with which i’d been semi-flashing the audience for awhile.  granted that’s super-mild for the how weird crowd, but i suddenly felt a bit shy, made some quick adjustments, and left for the gig.

anyway, i’m happy with the way the performances went.  we had some errors, but i think the performances were good.  we got a lot of positive feedback and, as always, seemed to offer something different from what other spinners were doing.  it is really fun to work with a group of this size and specialization.  a couple of years later and i’m happy that firish is still working its magic.  when pixie and i started the thing we had no idea where it would go.  now, it’s a separate but complimentary performing troupe to solar flare.

in the next installment, i’ll talk about solar flare’s quest for conclave…

photo by claire mulkey, 2011.

in an earlier post, i was stressing about the string of big performances on the immediate horizon, venting my mounting, inner freak-out, as it were.  a few months later and those shows are a distant, happy memory, as are several others.  instead of assaulting you with an overlong post trying to cram all of my activities in, i’ve decided to break it up into bite-size pieces.  this is the first one.  open wide…

the temple of poi fire dancing expo at the end of april was awesome.  there were lots of great performances by talented peeps.  the space is great: a big open-air concrete stage at union square, surrounded by large buildings and the buzz of the city.  it was a little on the cold side, but fortunately the rain stopped early enough in the day to make the show possible.  this was my second year performing as part of the event.  once again i felt honored to be there.

one super-cool experience prior to the performance was getting my arms and shoulders airbrushed.  an artist friend of bene’s spent a nice chunk of time giving us each complimentary layers and textures.  the results were cyberpunk cool.  unfortunately, a good portion of it rubbed off onto the inside of the jacket i had to wear to keep warm while awaiting my performance time.  regardless, i definitely am going to invest in airbrush work again.  it was a fun process, looked amazing, and helped me get into character on some level.  the icing on the cake was my friend sarah giving me some facepaint just before we went on.  i usually avoid having any makeup on my face. i sweat like a pig and it invariably gets smeared.  but, she did a great job of adding a bit of unobtrusive artistry to my face and it lasted without any problems.

the focus of the night for me, of course, was my duet with bene.  after several months of prep, i feel pretty good about the debut performance.  the energy was high, the crowd was with us, and we were pretty on (though a little nervous at the beginning).  given all the work that went into the piece, it’s not surprising that i’ve put the first video through the super-harsh critique sieve.  but, even with that battering, i feel happy with the performance and am really proud of our effort.

i’ve enjoyed the process of creating the piece with bene.  she is willing to work hard, brings an insightful, creative mind to the choreography, and has a great sense of humor.  over the last few years, i’ve been very fortunate to work with a number of really talented people.  what i have learned from them is immeasurable.  the more i co-create duets, the more i recognize that the most important decision is who you work with.

photo by fototaker tony, 2011.

reviewing the video, i think we had some great sequences, with some tight timing.  i like the complexity and pacing of the piece a lot.  there’s definitely stuff to work on, but that’s always the case.  as i’ve mentioned before, i add new tricks into routines so i can learn them.  as such, still working on some skill development and fine tuning.

there is a part of the routine where we do synchronized, horizontal, wrist spins.  it’s a cool trick, but i’m definitely still working on executing it consistently.   it’s one of my drop-risk moves.  the truth is i wasn’t confident going into the performance that i could pull off the move without a drop, having dropped it a number of times in practice.  in the move, while holding the hoop with my outstretched hand, i sweep my right arm clockwise on the vertical plane, opening my hand at the top (12 o’clock) to spin the hoop on my upright palm like a top, as both descend in an outward, clockwise arc.  it will be super cool when i can get it solid.

unfortunately, my wrist was pretty sore that night due to all of the fan practice i’d been doing for the separate firish piece i’ll talk about later.  i ended up having to adjust the move to protect my wrist and prevent the drop.  i basically did a cheat of the move, faking the spin of the hoop by twisting my wrist instead.  i’m glad it doesn’t look too bad in the video, but it’s on the top of my list of bits to work on.

photo by fototaker tony, 2011.

in other near tragedies, my hoop went out before the end of my routine, as feared.  fortunately it was at the tail end.  it’s almost a good thing it went out when it did, since i ended up doing a freak-ninja-bungle-of-a-move; a new move i had solid in practice but floundered at the crucial moment, for no known reason.  but, whatever.  it’s cool that a wick relit at the very end.

i’m still trying to find a firehoop that meets all of my requirements: light enough that it doesn’t kill me, strong enough that it can repeatedly take the torque i put on it, and wick’d-enough that it can last a good 4-minute set.  if i can’t find that hoop, i’m starting to realize that I may have to make that hoop.

anyway, the last thing i see watching the video is that i definitely need to ramp up my energy level to match bene’s glowing presence.  she owns it from the outset- i need to be there, too.   a friend once told me that as soon i realized and owned how awesome i was, my performances would be unbelievable.  or something to that effect.  it is something i struggle with.  i have this inward battle against arrogance that is sometimes at odds with projecting confidence in my performances.  it’s when i see examples of great showmanship that i’m inspired to try anew to let the full kahuna out.

regardless of improvements to be done to the routine and our delivery, i’m grateful that it went well and for the top-notch performance opportunity.  i look forward to continuing to refine and polish the duet.  after several intervening performances, i’m already feeling much more relaxed with it.  i feel like i’m starting to open up with it, if that makes any sense.  i look forward to bene and i both consistently finding that balance between being at ease in the familiarity of the fluid motion of the routine and executing each sequence with powerful intention, taking it from a primarily technical performance to an artistic performance of nuance, emotion, and polished skill.  i’m excited to see what it becomes.  glad the debut was a hit.  it was a nice way to start off.

in the next installment, i’ll talk about elf speed and the unexpected junk show.  stay tuned…

in my solo work, there are a number of technical moves i’d like to master and add solidly to my repertoire.  i’m trying to get a vertical palm spin down, as well as one of khan’s horizontal isolations, to name a couple of moves on the “to-do” list.  while many moves seem to build easily from what i have already learned, some seem alien- invariably it comes down to a lot of practice to make them second nature.  practice, practice, practice until my muscles know the moves better than my mind.

also, i’m constantly working on locking in and tapping directly into my flow from the moment i start hooping.  for me, what this means is a combination of feeling strong, expressive, and relaxed.  there is an effortlessness to it, while being in an exceptionally creative space.  being able to lock in to one’s performance flow solidly and continuously is, as far as i’m concerned, the mark of world class.  it’s much more than move to move.  it’s deeper than that, more expressive, more inclusive, and more magical.  i’ve got two gigs with solar flare on the immediate horizon in which i’ll be rocking solos.  i’m going to seriously try to make flow the watchword of the day in both cases, even if i have to recover from some wacky, disruptive, ninja move.  regardless of how those gigs go, making flow the default is an overarching goal for this entire year.

the second area of practice is for my firehoop duet with bene aria.  we are practicing for our first performance together in the temple of poi fire dancing expo in april.  i got to rock the show last year in a kickass hoop/poi duet with glittergirl.  i’m very pleased to have another opportunity to do a creative duet at one of the biggest fire shows of the year.  this will be my fifth fire duet, my third hoop vs hoop.

bene is a great hooper with serious skills, and a background that includes gymnastics, dance and silks.  we’re knee-deep in our routine, adding, adjusting, tweaking- continuing to expand upon the new hoop vocabulary we have been building.  one of the great things about working with another person is that it forces you to do moves that you would not otherwise do.  i try to be very open-minded in the creative process, acknowledging that even after the first big performance we’ll be making adjustments to the routine.  in addition to our regular practices in studio and out, i’m listening to our song daily, visualizing choreography, brainstorming, and practicing the difficult sequences on my own.  i’m very glad we are pushing the envelope with this routine.

the third area of practice is for firish.  we are in studio each week working on our new piece for the flow show in late april.  i was really happy to hear we’d been invited back to participate in this event, a collection of performances by incredibly talented spinners focusing on that elusive term “flow”.

firish’s first piece as a group was a kind of declaration about what this cool mixture of irish dance and fire dance could be.  we rode that piece for as long as we could, rotating the five-person roles amongst eight peeps in a variety of performances on playa and off.  now we’ve taken what we’ve learned and created a brand new piece that shows a little more dance range and the further integration of a variety of tools.  it’s interesting and a little counter-intuitive that the first real firish gig for the year will be a non-fire gig.  but true to the show’s ethic this time we are really focusing on flow, not as it will later translate into fire, but in and of itself.  irish dance is super-high energy.  part of our studio time is spent solely on dance conditioning, which invariably kicks my ass.  i can always tell when i’ve had firish practice the night before; my calves scream bloody murder when i walk up the stairs to my apartment.

so currently, solo practice, practice for the duet, and practice for firish are dominating my weekly practice schedule.  in the near future, i’ll add practice for my solar flare piece(s) to that list; there is talk of a five-piece all-male hoop routine.  at the beginning of this week i realized i had hooping commitments tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, and saturday (four practices and a gig).  that’s a lot of practice, but it was this kind of multifaceted focus last year that helped me make major strides in my hooping, so i’m happy and committed to the sometimes grueling schedule.  note to self: buy more finger tape, electrolytes, and arnica.

people sometimes think i’m nuts for spinning a flaming hoop around my body.  i’m sure some people also think i’m nuts for dedicating so much time to hooping.  but practice is the path to mastery, the key to unlocking flow, and, despite the hard work involved, it is just plain fun.  i get to spend dedicated time several days a week working either alone or with close friends on the development of skills.  that’s pretty damn cool.  and worth every sore muscle.

photo by fototaker tony, 2010.

2010 started with a great hoop path class.  thus inspired, i began several months of working on a groundbreaking hoop/poi duet with glittergirl (2x week/3-4 hours per day/months and months), while continuing to polish the original firish routine.  i also volunteered to step into a leadership position for solar flare for our annual quest for fire conclave at burning man, becoming the group’s shin, or fire mother, for the year.  separately, i made it into a brief spot on chinese news, to my surprise.  in march, i did my first movie-hooping in the flick doggie boogie:  i was filmed in two dream sequences, one in front of a tree of drumming hippies, the other spinning fire atop a hill overlooking san francisco.  by far my favorite gig during the first quarter of the year involved donning a fro for a disco party- only managed to have it fly off my head a couple of times.

in april, months of practice came to fruition with major performances with glittergirl and firish, in both the flow show and the fire arts expo.  i also took a great spin business/instructor’s training class from glittergirl and got to spin for urban planners at a spur benefit where larry harvey spoke.  in may, i helped open a hotel by spinning fire by the pool (where i was told i had to put a shirt on under my vest because my bare chest was too sexy for the crowd).  then played ecstatically with other pyro’s at firedrums.

photo by herm pugay, 2010.

in june, had the best campout of the year with solar flare at a nature reserve in sonoma county.  that was followed by firish at precompression and a summer solstice burn at sutro baths.  i spent several hectic days at the end of the month editing solar flare’s burning man fire conclave submission, which helped us secure a spot in the great circle.  in july, solar flare brought it to monterey for their burning man regional and to sand by the ton in oakland.

august was solid burning man prep, working with the 42-piece solar flare to make our performance amazing and beautiful.  in september, it all came together at burning man with our annual fire opera with salon soleil, followed by our performance in the great circle at conclave before a crowd of thousands.  at the end of the month, a few of us returned to sutro baths for a celebratory equinox burn.

photo by april mietz, 2010.

october saw solar flare at the crocker art museum in sacramento, where we brought fire love to their anniversary event with the vulcan crew.  then i spun just outside the powell bart station with temple of poi, sporting the new walrus look.  the end of the month was topped off by a halloween gig in which i had to pull some drunk lady away from our fuel depot.  she was looking for fake blood to play with.  gotta love sf.

in november, my hooping world came to a crashing halt with a surprise back injury.  managed to pull something learning disc golf, of all things.  (wish it had been from something more dramatic, like pulling children out of a burning bus)  subsequently, i had to cancel several gigs, alas, but was able to channel my energy into co-authoring the new firish piece for 2011.

after weeks of healing, december brought another personal spinning celebration of the heavens with the lunar eclipse.  then, supported solar flare at a strategik nye party that unfortunately got shut down just before flame on.  despite the let down, managed to bring in the new year surrounded by my wonderful peeps;-)

photo by waldemar horwat, 2010.

by far, the best shut down by police had to be at an impromptu solar flare jam in soma.  we had two cop cars show up for that one- the officer i spoke with apologized, saying it was obvious we knew what we were doing.  my best costume failure was at sand by the ton when the entire crotch of a newly made pair of pants ripped wide open moments before a solo.  (yes, i went anyway.)  it’s difficult for me to pick out my best performance of the year; seems like there should be several categories to consider and rate.  the reality is i liked parts of a few different performances.  i will say that the flow show and fire arts expo were fantastic experiences- really proud of those performances and all of the blood, sweat and tears that went into making them happen.

if i had to pick one performance for the year, i would have to say that my solo at the fire opera had a lot of magic to it.   even though i botched my routine in several places, the crowd was with me from the get go and i gave it all i had- it was a mutual gift that i won’t ever forget.  funny how that tangible connection doesn’t necessarily translate well to video. but i digress…

yes, 2010 was amazing.  can’t even count the number of practices and jams that happened in support of all of the above, not to mention the hoops that were sacrificed during the process. (insert moment of silence here)

photo by bill taylor, 2010.

with the earth continuing its path around the sun, i’ve got lots of new hoop shenanigans already in the works: a new hoop duet with bene is in the planning stages; firish continues to practice our new piece; new solar flare routines are spiriting around in my head.  in addition, i’m almost done with the prep for my intermediate skills classes, and look forward to both putting some real work into a kickass demo reel and making vast improvements on my website (like, ahem, posting more often).  i look forward to new seasons full of possibilities; more practice, more jamming, more renegades, for sure; as many big gigs as possible; exploring new dialogues with other spinners.  continuing my path to completely release my inner kahuna in each and every spin.

one thing is clear.  without a doubt, i could not do all of this insanity without my peeps, who continue to inspire me, encourage me, share my passion, and teach me how to live the life of a rock star.  it definitely takes a village to raise a kahuna.  in particular, warm, grateful hugs to mayhem, pixie, glittergirl, khan, crimson rose, bax, ms. sim, steve w., jaden, maestro, super v, firekitty, memory, my solar flare crew (s.f.f.y!), my firish crew, camp nucleus, my bah peeps, strategik, my podlings, and fellow boddhisattvas.  thank you all for an amazing year!

ultimately, my hooping is always a gift to you;-)

kahunahula

photo by kylla benes, 2010.

it has been a process.  when i stepped out of my early private hooping shell and began participating in hoop gatherings, one of the hardest things for me to do was to simply take off my shirt- to expose my torso to the world.  it was so hard for me to do that i made a decision early on to always take off my shirt when hooping, so i could finally get past my hangups.  yes, this is my belly in movement!  with time, a ton of generous and positive feedback from others, and my shedding a supermodel in weight, it has gotten easier.  but even though i am arguably in some of the best shape of my life, it still isn’t easy.

i’m not a professional model, nor do i aspire to be one.  i think “sexy” commercial modeling perpetuates dangerous stereotypes that are ultimately hurtful to most people’s sense of self worth.  i also think increasingly men are being subjected to a similar kind of destructive body “ideal” that women have endured to a more marked degree for a long time.  i’ve certainly felt the pressure over the years even though i intellectually recognize it as b.s.

as an active hoop performer, i get photographed quite a bit, often in minimal form-fitting (sometimes outrageous) clothing.  truth be told, i’m used to generally being discouraged by the resulting photos.  invariably i end up with some weird expression on my face, or blurry edges that look like alien flesh tumors, or most often, a kwashiorkor belly.  i usually have to grit my teeth through twenty bad shots before finding one in which i think i look decent.  sure, once in awhile i get one that is absolutely fantastic, but that is by far the exception.  i’ve grudgingly accepted this, like “off” performances, as part of the process.  i just keep hooping, hoping that the good shots i want for documenting and sharing my art will come over time.  when i perform, i am much more concerned with tapping into my flow and connecting with the audience, than with whether i can grate cheese on my abs at any given moment.  it’s only afterwards that i experience the mild panic when i see that i’ve been tagged in a photo on facebook.

however, despite this relative truce with the process, i was reminded a couple of months ago just how tender an area grappling with my sense of attractiveness still is for me.  after a couple of strong performances, which resulted in both good and bad pictures (and at least one amazing shot), i had the opportunity to participate in a dedicated photo shoot with several talented spinners.  i was excited at the prospects of getting several really high quality photos in a single evening.

i don’t know how you feel about posing in front of a wall of photographers, but the reality of it was rather surreal- markedly different from my experience the night before performing in front of a similar wall of photographers that fronted the crowd.  i was advised that to get good shots it would take a lot of repetition of movement;  the name of this game was posing. i couldn’t just rock it in my comfort zone as i had anticipated.  watching the other artists begin to work it, i felt like i was about to take off my shirt for the first time.

in retrospect, posing for the shots in that environment in the way that i was seeing other artists do it was simply not authentic for me.  i tried my best, but it wasn’t anything close to comfortable or fun.  i kept thinking of some b movie i’d seen a long time ago in which the photographer kept saying things like, “show me the tiger! yes! you are a sexy tiger! growl for me tiger! hot, hot, hot!”  nope.  not me.

given the fact that i’d tried nonetheless to be expressive, to dampen the natural speedster in me sufficiently, and to find something close to a distant relative of my comfort zone in the situation, i have to say i was disappointed with the results.  despite pushing myself to stay active in the rotation, and braving the large phalanx of photographers, i ended up with only a few possibly usable pictures for several hours worth of work in the cold- none of which were particularly inspiring to me.  part of the problem undoubtedly had to do with the fact that there were usually at least two artists doing separate things at the same time- the photographers had to choose who to go with.  while i don’t think it was the intention of either the photographers or the artists,  it seemed like the spinners who were much closer to the ripped, slim, sexy “ideal”, and who were able to ‘show their tiger’, ended up with the preponderance of photographs, including some fantastic results.  don’t get me wrong, i was happy for them- everyone worked hard for it.  but, comparing the discrepancy in volume between the plethora of their photographs and mine, i found myself drowning in that old familiar space of, “of course there aren’t that many pictures of me- i’m just not attractive like they are.”

i recognize that with guidance and practice i could probably learn how to pose effectively and feel a little more comfortable with it.  i’d also probably end up with more shots.  but, just as there are moves, affectations, and methodologies that other spinners employ that i don’t, i doubt this kind of thing is really capturing what i’m about as a hooper.  the fact is that the best photos i’ve gotten recently have been action shots of me rocking the hoop on stage.  they weren’t all perfect, but they were true to me.  that was where my sexy came out.  and, i felt good about myself in the process, which is probably more important.

yes, it was a single night.  i probably shouldn’t throw the baby out with the bathwater (where did this saying come from? was this an issue at some point?)  we’ll see how the future photo ops unfold- whether i can embrace and express something cool that doesn’t make me feel ridiculous and self-conscious, hopefully with good results; or, whether i just stick to doing my best to kick ass on stage and let the pictures come as they will.  i’d put my money on the latter.  maybe i’ll go to the next photo shoot and spin like the madman that i am and see what happens.

why share this?  because i know i’m not the only walking-wounded spinner when it comes to body image.  i’ve had a number of conversations with peeps who really struggle with it, both men and women.  i certainly have.  the more you hoop in public, the more likely you will have to deal with what you perceive about yourself from photographs.

reflecting on this experience has just underlined my conviction that the sexiest thing on the planet is you spinning with authenticity, whatever that means for you.  embrace it, treat yourself with compassion, and enjoy.  try not to get too lost in indoctrinated notions of attractiveness.  in other words, take pictures with a grain of salt.  they may indeed capture a moment, and that moment may be amazing.  but, to my mind the most beautiful flow is in the movement, and the most beautiful you is in the flow.

tiger.

my solo routine has come a long way from the initial flawed performance at union square in december.  i walked away from that gig discouraged.  i’d blitzed hard in the preceeding weeks to complete my exciting new routine in time.  but the actual performance felt like a bit of a mess.  i ended up going off sequence early on, dropped my hoop, split my lip wide open with some freak mutant move i hope i never repeat, and had my wicks go out severely prematurely, before i’d gotten anywhere near the really good stuff.

when i finally got a chance to check out the video, i was relieved to see that the performance was far better than i’d remembered. not a complete disaster, after all.  considering the short time frame, i’d put together a good core, even if i was too lost in the technicalities while spinning.  even my recovery from the drop was decent enough that i was asked by a few folks if i’d done it on purpose.  i was once advised to learn a few solid recovery moves. really grateful for that advice.  sometimes you just drop it.

as i’ve mentioned elsewhere, post-spin self debrief is always a little harsh.  i often have to take a breath and recognize not only what went wrong, but what went right.  still learning how to do this well.  after all, no matter how far i end up going with hooping, it will always be about the process.  the journey is the thing; the performances are just snapshots.

since the awkward debut, i’ve spent the necessary time really practicing the difficult transitions, been through the entire routine a substantial number of times with only minor snafus, and have newer wicks available.  except for a sequence or two, i feel pretty rock solid across the board.  really focusing now on the overall flow, pacing my energy exertion throughout the duration, fine tuning angles/body position/timing, opening up the general showmanship, and relaxing into my flow.  looking forward to finding a good opportunity to perform the current evolution of the piece in the near future.

photo by norm mcallister, 2010.

in addition to the solo, i’ve got three routines in the works with my super-talented fire peeps.  i’m rocking a kickass duet with glittergirl (hoop/poi), upgrading the irish footwork in the showpiece routine with firish, and beginning to craft my duet with jaden towards our application to conclave with solar flare (hoop/hoop; possibly, double staff/hoop). really pleased to have the opportunity to work with such great people.  (when i first typed that sentence it came out, “pleased to have the opportunity to work such great people”.  i’m sure that will be true, both ways.)

i’ve said it before and i will say it again.  while there is certainly nothing like building a solid solo piece, i think it is really important to experience working in combination with other spinners.  i’ve found it crucial to making mammoth gains in skill, technique and expression.  it forces me to do things i would not normally do, to create unique sequences/interplay, to strengthen marginal skills.  i also highly recommend trying a piece wherein you are interacting with a different spinning tool than your own.  it’s one thing to play with another hoop; you can share the inherent fluidity of similar, familiar movement.  but a completely different tool means you have to learn how to play with the unique qualities of that tool in the hands of the person you are working with- it’s rhythms, range, flexibility, etc.  you cannot help but improve your own control, flexibility, and overall strength from this kind of work.

in my hoop/poi duet, for instance, we’ve had the opportunity to build a fresh vocabulary of hoop/poi interactions.  we are doing a number of things i’ve never seen done anywhere.  it’s incredibly fun to blaze new ground.  i’m already stronger for it and anticipate some of my best choreographed performances to date.

with firish, the emphasis has been on improving our irish dancing skills so that we can integrate more footwork into our piece.  we’ve already benefited from some great coaching and a lot of hopping around in unison.  by the time the gigs are upon us, lovers of light 2.0 will be fantastic. and i will have thighs of steel.

as for the final piece, i’m excited to work with my solar flarista sister, jaden.  she’s talented with many tools, including spinning a graceful double firehoop.  i don’t have a clue what we’ll come up with, but i know it will be amazing.

so, until mid-april when the big shows happen, i expect to be practicing the group routines a good 10-15 hours a week, at a minimum.  add to that my solo work and that’s a lot consistent wear and tear on our hero.  the lesson i seem to be learning now is how best to take care of my body when i am practicing at this intensity and frequency.  i’m usually conscious of water and rest needs when i practice or perform, but haven’t always been super diligent about stretching, massage, or simply making sure to promptly replenish electrolytes.  my body is being very good about reminding me that those things are crucial to being able to bring it to every practice.

as to the beached whale reference, last year after the fire spinning season ended i took a good-sized break from hooping, undoubtedly needed because i hadn’t been listening to my body’s needs that well.  i ended up doing a lot more eating than exercising (damn holidays) and put on some winter weight like a good mammal.  but, having recovered from type II diabetes a few years back, i need to keep my weight in a very healthy range.  i’m not generally too successful when it comes to new year’s resolutions.  it feels really good to have continued my progress toward maintaining fighting trim this time around the sun.  the only drawback from not packing on some extra poundage over this winter has been that i’ve been noticeably colder.  as a hooper i’m often outside, exposed to the elements, wearing a minimum of fancy, tight clothing.  never really understood to this extent what many of the women in my life endure routinely with being cold at night when out on the town.

anyway, after the big shows, i’m off to firedrums to celebrate, socialize, camp, and spin.  spinning for my collective fire tribe is a unique joy.  i always walk away from the weekend exhausted, smiling, and inspired, basking in the pungent aroma of smoke and burnt hair.  awesome.

until then, i’m going to work hard, give my performances my best, and earn that celebration.  paraphrasing the teacher in the old tv show, fame, “you gotta pay in sweat!”

let’s visit the wayback machine shall we? (insert 70′s space music here….)

haven found

when i think of the word, “sanctuary”, i think of being safe, secure, and free to recover.  the last few months have been crazy hectic.  as i mentioned in my decompression post, i didn’t do a whole lot of decompressing there.  i was looking forward to the following long weekend of escape and chill at strategik’s sanctuary.

the place was beautiful.  an estate in wine country, complete with pool, palatial house and tennis courts.  add strategik’s dj’s, sound systems and vibing great peeps and you’ve got one hell of a party.

i love socializing.  i never fail to meet and connect with people unless i’m in that hide-in-a-cave mode or mid pre-performance jitters.  i’ve gotten into the habit of asking people what their passion is instead of what they do for a living.  the answers are always far more interesting.  i like watching people’s faces light up when they realize that i am asking them to tell me all about what they love.

i did a little spinning by the pool during the day, broke out the psi hoop at dusk, then transitioned to fire. the fire spins the first night felt like a fun warm up.  no music, alas.  a guy came up to me afterwards and said that as far as he was concerned, watching us spin was the most amazing aspect of the weekend.  that was nice.  to be honest, i’m still learning how to deal with the wash of compliments.  i try to be appreciative, humble and gracious.  i have no doubt that everyone who praises my spinning has something they do that would likewise blow my mind.

the second night i was on.  my fire peeps were there, bolstered by some new talented friends.  we had a dedicated audience, good music, and some decent room on the tennis court.  i had a couple of solid spins, deep in the zone, casting my spell.  check out this amazing photo.  so fantastic to have this newer level of comfort with fire.  makes it possible for me to really enjoy it rather than fear it.  (though i will always respect fire for the elemental force that is is)  to top it all off, hours later, i put on a private psi performance for a group of thoroughly intoxicated friends. that’s just fun.  then off to dance the rest of the night.

needless to say, i walked away from the weekend exhausted but happy.

photo by luiza leite, 2009.

doing it for the boobs

beats for boobs was a blast a few days later.  (say that ten times fast)  a strong contingent of solar flare alternated performances with temple of poi in support of this great fundraiser for breast cancer.  we did two shows.  in the first, we did solos.  in the second, we were put together in two’s and three’s at random, to see what we could come up with.  it was fun.  lots and lots of toss room.

it was great also getting a chance to chat with the fire marshall.  he said fire spinners are much easier to deal with than restaurant owners.  thought that was funny.  also, maestro got a clarification on a toss rule that just made my day.  there have been a couple of recent gigs where i was told i couldn’t toss.  wrong.  a performer can actually toss to themselves. it’s the tossing tools to one another that is a no-no.  sweet.

and, though it was a little weird having my lady’s father in the audience for the first time, i nonetheless rocked the black nipple tape in honor of the occassion.  HooppaiN!

photo by ramona tumber, 2009.

burning in hell

the hell-o-ween gig the next night was one of my better firespinning evenings in awhile.  i’d gotten the invite from fireflirt, one of my campmates at bman, to participate as part of her infernal circus with three other spinners i know and love in a pre-halloween party/benefit at a mansion in sf.

we were pretty much on our own to make it happen.  that meant spinning, safetying, crowd control, space control, etc, between the four of us at a party of hundreds.  not easy.

we rocked the house.  such fantastic performers!  nothing like spinning with peeps with exceptional skill and seasoned showmanship.  i felt part of a solid team of good friends.  at any time we had two people on safety, one dipping, one spinning.   we did two shows.  without music.  yep, we were told we’d be able to hear the band upstairs, but it was pretty faint.  i need to get in the habit of always bringing a backup sound system.

despite the super-tight space and no toss room (damn tree!), i was pretty on.  there was something about the space we created that spoke to me.  i felt safe.  without the music, it came down to doing the magic solely to the whish of the flames.  once i tapped into that, it was all gravy despite the obstacles.

photo by matthew freedman, 2009.

disco halloween

my halloween plans got a bit mixed up.  i’d committed early to a party gig, which fell through days before all hallows eve.  i found myself unable to buy tickets for the ghost ship party on treasure island that most of my friends were going to.  one alternative  was a disco campout in the woods that sounded intriguing enough to make me unpack all of my camping gear i’d just packed and drive unfamiliar windy trails in the (seemingly) dead of night, to a place i only knew about from a flyer i could barely read. ah, adventure.

nice place.  at the edge of a forest with an outdoor dance floor.  found a perfect camping spot at the edge of the tents:  close enough to easily go back and forth from the activity, far away enough to have some peace.

didn’t do much hooping, but had a good time.  the thing i missed the most was my peeps and the vibe that they bring.

the upside was i could put the damn hoop down for a night and just dance with my lady.  we felt pretty anonymous there, which is a rarity at events these days.  love dancing with wave.

when i did finally pick up my led, i chose an empty spot equidistant between the blazing back speakers and started to do my thing.  a fairly large crowd gathered almost instantly.  felt off from the start.  it was one of those less than ideal situations wherein not only am i not in my zone, i’m also a little too out of breath at the outset.  i rocked it for a bit and then put it away.  just wasn’t feeling it.  back to swaying with wave and a couple of friends.

it was a mellow, pleasant halloween.

the horizon

with the next gig a little over a week away, i’m going to use the time to get some site things done and start developing the intermediate tricks class i want to teach.  i just got some new moo cards that i can’t wait to start handing out.  i’m also being very diligent about continuing to work on my hoop skills everyday.  i feel like i’ve just grazed the surface of my hooping potential.

still so much to learn.

photo by donovan watts, 2007.

this year was special on two counts. the first was that it was my lady’s birthday. we’d had a birthday eve bash in the city with a gaggle of cool friends the night before. i crawled into bed late with every intention of getting as much sleep as possible. but, alas, insomnia decided to plague me for a bit- partially performance jitters, no doubt. when we finally showed up to decompression, i was working on about four hours of nervous sleep, excited, trying to make the day special for my lady, slightly hung-over, and nervous. all that pervaded by happiness that decom was finally here.

the second thing that made the day special was the city debut of firish with my fire troupe, solar flare. we’d reconvened practices post-playa to be ready to do an improved version of an irish jig for our flame-thirsty burner family.

as is my habit, i did a bit of hooping around; hooped with a bunch of paiNers and bah peeps. considered it a warm up for the evening. in the past i’ve blown out all of my energy during the day. since i was working on depleted resources already, i tried to strike a relaxed balance between hooping and socializing.

photo by colleen sullivan, 2008.

we knew going in that the stage would be a considerably smaller space than we were used to. we’d practiced in a mock-up of the space at the studio and seen that we were going to have to be collectively on our game not to collide and/or burn eachother. tough to fit six moving people with a variety of fire toys on such a small platform.

my other adventures for this gig included making a last minute kilt and dealing with a minor injury. i was assisted in the last-minute kilt challenge by participating in my friend’s creative coven gathering, where we all worked on costumes for decom. i then worked my ass off on the thing. i was so pressed for time with all of the birthday preparations on top of my other decom prep that i was still sewing in the car en route.

but, i did it. i’m proud. the thing that i am most enamored with is that i made the kilt out of duvetyn (what we use to put out flaming firetools). yep, a fireproof kilt. to a pyro like me that’s the shiznit.

the injury bit had to do with my knees. i do so much groundwork when i hoop that knee pads have become my habit. for the dress rehearsal in studio on friday, wearing the kilt-in-progress, i took the knee pads off. i thought the dance floor would be more forgiving. the practice went fine until, of course, i realized i had badly skinned both knees over the course of the evening. then they started to hurt a lot. i looked like a little boy who’d gotten all scraped up playing outside. in my fireproof kilt.

when solar flare convened pre-show, everyone was amped.  always makes me happy to see these people.  but, decom never seems to come without some drama. point in fact, my partner in firecrime lost her firetool for a few stressful hours. also, new fire marshal pressures were also putting everybody a little more on edge. but once the fire shows began, all that stuff started to drop away. we were preceded by several talented fire troupes, all rocking their stuff. a surprise birthday cake off to the side of the stage seemed to further cheer everyone up. in no time at all, firish was costumed, warmed up, dipped, and watching the rest of solar flare put on a great show.

then our music with it’s dramatic build up pumping through the speakers. our trio of graceful fans, karen, eimile and krista, posing then moving on stage. dave, pixie and i waiting in the wings. then dave is up with his fire fiddle and the crowd explodes. pixie and i follow. we all turn it on full blast. all that practice coming together in those few minutes of cool night.

the stage was indeed tight. fortunately there were no major accidents; just a couple of bumped tools, here and there. i know i had a few more bobbles in some transitions than usual because of the lack of space. but, we brought it. for sure. a pretty strong performance overall. with a great reception.

here is video of the performance:-)

here are links to some pix:

1 2 3

after the show, i finally started to relax at a friend’s houseparty. i realized en route that both of my knees had been opened up during the performance; i was noticeably bleeding from my right knee. will have to figure out a good solution to that dilemma for the future. we enjoyed some great company for a spell, as my post-performance exhaustion began to hit.  then, getting everyone to cars/home safely and to bed to pass out.

i think the upcoming sanctuary weekend is actually going to be more of a real “decompression” for me. a few days camping with friends, firespinning and great music.   just what this boy needs.

it started friday night with two solid hours of unlit practice in the studio with firish.  we are prepping for our next performance as part of solar flare at decompression.  we dove headfirst into detail work.  good practice. great group of spinners.  i think there is a bright future ahead for this project.

afterwards, i headed over to an impromptu international HooppaiN at proudmari’s.  they’d been at it for two hours by the time i showed up.  i made some new aussie and tokyo friends and got to watch some great hooping.  had one really sweet spin.  then home to pass out.

photo by joseph perla, 2009.

the next day i found myself in one of my playa getups for lovEvolution, the bay area’s version of the love parade.  bah starts the parade every year- we were able to enjoy the apex of mounting excitement.  hooping in the parade was fun but grueling.  there was weird footing with the trolley tracks and amorphous hoop space to work with, but, really the tiring thing was the constant forward movement.  music was hit and miss- we ended up moving backwards en masse in the lineup to latch on to better music.  all complaining aside, it was hooping with friends in costume in the sunshine down market street to cheering crowds.  pretty damn awesome.  kudos to all of my fellow hoopers who rocked it hard!

once inside the festival area, i spent the next several hours hooping in and out of small groups. i was feeling pretty worn out by the time this started, which sucked because this is usually my favorite part of these kinds of festivals.  i still hooped for awhile at a few different spots, said hi to friends, did a little dancing, but at the core i was wiped out.  i was a little surprised- thought my tolerance was a bit higher.

photo by philo hagen, 2009.

by the mid-afternoon the crowds had swelled to that obnoxious size when you can’t move from point a to point b without having to sample everyone’s b.o.  i was done.  i decided to scratch the idea of an after party in favor of a quiet night in bed.  in retrospect, i should have started the day with a banana and a multivitamin and brought electrolytes to the festival.  my cramping hands and feet screamed potassium depletion.  you’d think i didn’t regularly camp in the desert…

sunday, i carried my hoop to the hardly strictly bluegrass festival with the intention of hooping, but never made it happen.  no umph.  nothing.  lots of shoulder soreness and general malaise.  definitely starting to wonder, am i getting sick?  is my inner swine coming out?  everybody i know has been sick as a dog lately.

(the answer, unfortunately, is yes, my friends got me sick.)

looking at the weekend as a whole, the only time i really found my zone was at HooppaiN.  that was one of my better spins in some time.  other than that, didn’t really hit my groove at all at the love in.  on my perfectionist flow scale, i give myself a four, mostly for effort.  still happy i was able to attend everything.  i look at every hoop opportunity as an opportunity.  as to the whole notion of just overdoing it, i think it is important sometimes to push yourself beyond your limits so that you are reminded exactly where they are.

(my lady doesn’t quite agree with me on that one.)

photo by jaden rose, 2009.

last night’s gig at mission rock was fun and mellow.  a small contingent of solar flare broke out our led tools and came to spin in support of a benefit for leukemia.  we had a solid warm up jam at one of the nearly-empty dancefloors (always feel a little bad for djs playing to mostly empty space), then made our way to the crowded outdoor stage that juts out over the water to do our thing.

performing in such a tight space with a crowd that doesn’t realize you are supposed to be performing there is a little tricky.  we had one guy get a little belligerent when we started opening up the space.  i can understand the frustration of suddenly not having the dance space you want, i need room to do my thing, too, but he was being a jerk about it.  fortunately, it resolved itself.  i’ve had to deal with a few of these confrontations before, particularly at clubs where space is a premium.  the worst is when i manage to completely coldcock somebody in the face or drink with an errant hoop.  hard not to feel bad about it, even if it kind of baffles me how you can walk directly into my spinning, lit hoop and act surprised.  what part of that didn’t you see coming?

anyway, the space on the deck mid-crowd turned out to be too small for what we all had in mind.  karen and i tried to do the duet we worked on for conclave, but kept tagging chairs and being interrupted by drunks thinking this was the best time for a conversation.  it disintegrated into a short jam, then we called it.

later, we moved upstairs as a group to hang out and spin sporadically in the larger space.  i think this was my favorite part of the evening: led hooping with considerably more room to work with, in lower light conditions to louder music.  plus, love to rock the ilaniowear soft machine pants.  never get to wear any faux fur when i firespin, for obvious reasons.  i must have spun off and on for a good hour (HooppaiN!) before downshifting to dancing.  the last minute led tape job was a godsend- i sacrificed some glowiness to bring some serious control to my led, to counter the history of slippage in similar circumstances.

(check out the eventvibe photos by dirk wyse here.  there are a number of solar flarista shots if you look around this gallery)

ultimately, what made the night really great was chilling and playing with my bay area ohana.  look forward to doing it again at the love parade this weekend.